Love yourself

Recently, a colleague of mine is undergoing a major heartbreak.
Well, her bf who is based overseas has another woman. Apparently this is not the first time.
(Yes, i also wonder why is she still hanging on to the relp?)
Anyway, the asshole told my colleague to give him 3 months, dont see her. By the end of 3 months, he will give her an answer.
and this silly colleague actually agreed.

Actually sometimes I wonder why we like to torture ourselves.
Life is alrady hard enough, we should do happy things right?
Why must we degrade ourselves in a relationship (like my colleague here) when we can do many many other things?

As all of you have known, recently me and R is on cold war because he flared/lose temper/shouted at me in front of my friends when I showed concern.
What the fuck? Go to hell lor.

R actually sms and called me a couple of times dont know for what fuck, but I dont know what to say to him so I ignored both sms and calls.
I thought for a very long time during the weekend, as I told Pow, do I need such a relationship?

Well P (R's gd friend) would say "Aiyah, you never try. How you know? R has a lot of good points!"
Yes, he has but he has his bad points too, isnt?
At this moment, when my business is ailing, with me shouldering the responsibility of my employees, I dont see why I need to subject myself to further torture.
I have been fucking patient with R's moodiness, temper, ai chup bo chup attitude. OKay, relationship give and take right? Since R is at times sweet and know what i like, i let it pass.

But the flaring up in front of my friend is a definite no (Maybe it's last straw that break the camel's back).
I will not, repeat, I will not tolerate anyone shouting at me. Fuck, you feed me is it? If R feed me like my dad does, okay lah, shout until your voice hoarse, i dont give a damn. The thing is even my dad dont shout at me.

R has not apologized, I dont think he will. Frankly, I will let this relp go.
I'm not a punching bag lor. And this weird relp has been him him him, never we we we.
Marriage next year lah, have kid next year lah, stop my business lah, learn to cook for him lah.
enough lah. I want someone who accepts me as who I am and not to be with someone who wants me to change to suit his preference.
Enough.

Maybe this is my ego speaking at the moment, and I may regret this decision in the future.
But at this point, if you ask me now, i will let R go.
I will not degrade myself further. I tried but doesnt work, I think we just dont suit each other.
If we cannot complement each other in terms of strengths and weaknesses, why be with each other? It will prolong misery.
So i will move on.

No one loves me? It's okay, I love myself.