Today is the most drama mama day in my life.
FA quit. FA = fucking asshole.
With FA quit, i have to take over his job, sigh.
so i cant go taipei. such disappointment, sorry ah fat!!
i owe u big din din for this :)
With the day started wrong since morning, rushing here and there for handover, blocking every access that FA has, I totally dont have the chance to sit back and let the emotions seep through.
Even when at ah bo's place, i was totally devoid of any emotion, totally numb to the whole situation. It feels just like another day, even though this is quite a huge bomb.
While waiting for the cab earlier, I have a lot of time to think.
Suddenly I feel quite handicapped, even though FA is a lousy, useless asshole, he is half a hand.
At least there is some help. But now everything falls to me.
Honestly, I'm very afraid, suddenly feel so uncertain of myself. What is the future like?
I'm afraid to imagine. For the first time in my life, I felt so afraid and uncertain.
ha! Seems that this journey is so long and I'm walking alone.
So many things not settled, lack of paper work for some matters, creditors at the door, employees' confidence, their loyalty, what new events to do, whether we are going the right direction, so much uncertainty. Sigh.
All that I hope for now is better business and strength to walk this through.
I pray to my Allah everyday is a better day and that my Allah must walk with me otherwise i will crumple and die. I simply can't do this alone anymore, I need help from divine power man!
So Allah, please help me okay. Walk with me.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Love yourself
Recently, a colleague of mine is undergoing a major heartbreak.
Well, her bf who is based overseas has another woman. Apparently this is not the first time.
(Yes, i also wonder why is she still hanging on to the relp?)
Anyway, the asshole told my colleague to give him 3 months, dont see her. By the end of 3 months, he will give her an answer.
and this silly colleague actually agreed.
Actually sometimes I wonder why we like to torture ourselves.
Life is alrady hard enough, we should do happy things right?
Why must we degrade ourselves in a relationship (like my colleague here) when we can do many many other things?
As all of you have known, recently me and R is on cold war because he flared/lose temper/shouted at me in front of my friends when I showed concern.
What the fuck? Go to hell lor.
R actually sms and called me a couple of times dont know for what fuck, but I dont know what to say to him so I ignored both sms and calls.
I thought for a very long time during the weekend, as I told Pow, do I need such a relationship?
Well P (R's gd friend) would say "Aiyah, you never try. How you know? R has a lot of good points!"
Yes, he has but he has his bad points too, isnt?
At this moment, when my business is ailing, with me shouldering the responsibility of my employees, I dont see why I need to subject myself to further torture.
I have been fucking patient with R's moodiness, temper, ai chup bo chup attitude. OKay, relationship give and take right? Since R is at times sweet and know what i like, i let it pass.
But the flaring up in front of my friend is a definite no (Maybe it's last straw that break the camel's back).
I will not, repeat, I will not tolerate anyone shouting at me. Fuck, you feed me is it? If R feed me like my dad does, okay lah, shout until your voice hoarse, i dont give a damn. The thing is even my dad dont shout at me.
R has not apologized, I dont think he will. Frankly, I will let this relp go.
I'm not a punching bag lor. And this weird relp has been him him him, never we we we.
Marriage next year lah, have kid next year lah, stop my business lah, learn to cook for him lah.
enough lah. I want someone who accepts me as who I am and not to be with someone who wants me to change to suit his preference.
Enough.
Maybe this is my ego speaking at the moment, and I may regret this decision in the future.
But at this point, if you ask me now, i will let R go.
I will not degrade myself further. I tried but doesnt work, I think we just dont suit each other.
If we cannot complement each other in terms of strengths and weaknesses, why be with each other? It will prolong misery.
So i will move on.
No one loves me? It's okay, I love myself.
Well, her bf who is based overseas has another woman. Apparently this is not the first time.
(Yes, i also wonder why is she still hanging on to the relp?)
Anyway, the asshole told my colleague to give him 3 months, dont see her. By the end of 3 months, he will give her an answer.
and this silly colleague actually agreed.
Actually sometimes I wonder why we like to torture ourselves.
Life is alrady hard enough, we should do happy things right?
Why must we degrade ourselves in a relationship (like my colleague here) when we can do many many other things?
As all of you have known, recently me and R is on cold war because he flared/lose temper/shouted at me in front of my friends when I showed concern.
What the fuck? Go to hell lor.
R actually sms and called me a couple of times dont know for what fuck, but I dont know what to say to him so I ignored both sms and calls.
I thought for a very long time during the weekend, as I told Pow, do I need such a relationship?
Well P (R's gd friend) would say "Aiyah, you never try. How you know? R has a lot of good points!"
Yes, he has but he has his bad points too, isnt?
At this moment, when my business is ailing, with me shouldering the responsibility of my employees, I dont see why I need to subject myself to further torture.
I have been fucking patient with R's moodiness, temper, ai chup bo chup attitude. OKay, relationship give and take right? Since R is at times sweet and know what i like, i let it pass.
But the flaring up in front of my friend is a definite no (Maybe it's last straw that break the camel's back).
I will not, repeat, I will not tolerate anyone shouting at me. Fuck, you feed me is it? If R feed me like my dad does, okay lah, shout until your voice hoarse, i dont give a damn. The thing is even my dad dont shout at me.
R has not apologized, I dont think he will. Frankly, I will let this relp go.
I'm not a punching bag lor. And this weird relp has been him him him, never we we we.
Marriage next year lah, have kid next year lah, stop my business lah, learn to cook for him lah.
enough lah. I want someone who accepts me as who I am and not to be with someone who wants me to change to suit his preference.
Enough.
Maybe this is my ego speaking at the moment, and I may regret this decision in the future.
But at this point, if you ask me now, i will let R go.
I will not degrade myself further. I tried but doesnt work, I think we just dont suit each other.
If we cannot complement each other in terms of strengths and weaknesses, why be with each other? It will prolong misery.
So i will move on.
No one loves me? It's okay, I love myself.
Friday, October 10, 2008
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I misunderstood you since the day you left him.
I dont know you went through so much distress because of this company, and all this while I thought of you as a slut.
I'm glad we have a talk today.
Thank you and JZ, I'm so sorry.
I dont know you went through so much distress because of this company, and all this while I thought of you as a slut.
I'm glad we have a talk today.
Thank you and JZ, I'm so sorry.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
S.S No.8
I'm in love! with bb player from Singapore Slingers!
He is player No.8, position: guard. but wah lao 25 years old.
He is cool dude!! Will post up his photos in my FB soon!
In loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *drool like a bull dog*
He is player No.8, position: guard. but wah lao 25 years old.
He is cool dude!! Will post up his photos in my FB soon!
In loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *drool like a bull dog*
Friday, October 3, 2008
Tried and Tested II
Shisheido powder - Pass, not too bad.
Clarins Hydro XX (cant remember) - wah quite lousy, not moisturising enough. face dry like sand paper
Clarins sunblock - lurve to death
Shiseido blusher - not too bad
Kerastase - swear by it!
Lancome moisturiser - love it!
Lancome eye cream - ditch it!
Clinique lash curl or something - ka na sai. apparently it's created for people with already curl lashes. if you have asian lashes aka the 45 degree kind, dont bother to buy.
Origins mushroom moisturiser - not too bad, skin not so dry anymore
Origins eye serum - haven't seen any difference since I last use it.
CSB, how's your Lamer eye cream??
Clarins Hydro XX (cant remember) - wah quite lousy, not moisturising enough. face dry like sand paper
Clarins sunblock - lurve to death
Shiseido blusher - not too bad
Kerastase - swear by it!
Lancome moisturiser - love it!
Lancome eye cream - ditch it!
Clinique lash curl or something - ka na sai. apparently it's created for people with already curl lashes. if you have asian lashes aka the 45 degree kind, dont bother to buy.
Origins mushroom moisturiser - not too bad, skin not so dry anymore
Origins eye serum - haven't seen any difference since I last use it.
CSB, how's your Lamer eye cream??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)